When Your Partner Isn’t Your Disney Partner

I travel to Disney World with two partners in crime: my sister and my son.

My husband and my sister’s boyfriend stay at home. Neither of them are fans of crowds or heat. Both have been to Disney World before, but just don’t share our love for it.  When asked why, my husband will recount a few days spent sweltering at Epcot for a work related demonstration he did in Future World decades ago. My sister’s boyfriend, also not a fan of heat and crowds, will talk about the endless lines he waited in. I would argue that’s because neither of them were on a Dustless Pixie planned trip, but I digress.

For the most part, my sister and I are okay with them not wanting to come along. The three of us have a great time. I appreciate the extra special bond that my kid is forming with my sister on our trips. It also helps that she is willing to ride roller coasters with him. Thanks for helping a nervous rider out, sister!  

The bottom line is that Disney World isn’t for everyone. Why drag someone who doesn’t find the the most magical place on earth all that magical?

More and more, Disney World has become a destination for adults only trips.

Millennials who grew up during the Disney movie renaissance in the 90’s are a big part of that.  Cottage industries have sprung up under their DIY spirit and online shops are full of creative tees, pins and mouse ears to prove it.

Proposals regularly happen on property. There is an entire show devoted to Disney destination weddings. Young married couples honeymoon at Disney World without irony. If they both share a love of the most magical place on earth, then a honeymoon there seems like a perfect idea.

The various festivals at Epcot attract a lot of adults and couples who leave their kids at home. Special food and drinks only available during each specific festival drive adults to the Festival of Arts in the winter, Flower and Garden Festival in the spring and Food and Wine Festival in the fall.

There are a slew of loved up Disney Instagram pics of couples holding balloons, smooching in front of the castle and staring adoringly at one another on the Teacups or while holding the Tangled lantern.  Pictures of couples gathered around bistro tables sipping seasonal cocktails around the World Showcase Lagoon in Epcot are everywhere. Our vacations, however, look more like this:

Obviously, I realize what gets posted on Instagram doesn’t always reflect reality. Some of that is pixie dusted.  I’m sure there are many long suffering Disney Instagram boyfriends slapping a smile on when they would rather be doing something else.

There is another side to that coin. Folks who think of Disney World as only a place for families with kids.

The notion of going with only part of your family seems strange to them. Why wouldn’t my husband come as well? Isn’t it supposed to be one of those childhood rites of passage: the family trip to Disney World? For some families that totally works. Mom, Dad and kids posing in front of Cinderella’s castle in matching tee shirts regularly show up in my Instagram feed. Many extended families have yearly Disney vacations steeped in tradition. If everyone is on board, I think that’s a wonderful way to share the experience.  However, if everyone isn’t on board, what kind of vacation would that make for the rest of the group?

I know that every family member that makes the trip is not happy about that matching tee shirt, or the lines, or the park food, or all of the WALKING. But sometimes, when the 100th person asks me why my husband doesn’t go to Disney World with us, I get a little defensive about it. Is it really weird that my sister and I take vacations to Disney World without our partners? Should I be upset that I’m solo in my Tangled Lantern picture?

I never wanted our trips to Disney World to be a way to fulfill some kind of perceived family obligation. I dragged my feet for several years before I took my son. My son wasn’t that into Mickey Mouse. The post 1975 Disney World that sprung up after my visit as a kid, was a mystery to me. We only took the plunge after having a great time at Universal Studios’ Wizarding World of Harry Potter . After that first Disney trip, we were hooked.

Disney World is a great place to visit at any age. It is not, however, a place to suck it up and get through. It is an expensive and very active vacation. I can’t imagine what it’s like to put a reluctant person through it, but I know that there is not enough pixie dust in the world to make that a good experience for my husband.

My “Disney Side” is more like a hobby that my husband and I don’t share.

Since my love of Disney World is partly tied up with the anticipation and planning of the adventure, it has become a hobby for me. My husband doesn’t belong to my book club. He isn’t into gardening or watching Hallmark Christmas movies . Likewise, I don’t comb the internet for the newest technological gadgetry or watch all of the gold mining, scotch tasting and wood planing shows. You do you, right?

Plenty of men go on fishing and hunting trips, like my sister’s boyfriend. Obviously, that is combining a hobby with travel. So is it really strange that she takes trips to Disney World without him? Would he want to take her out on a fishing boat all day? I can pretty much guarantee you that he would not.

Believe me. Our partners are VERY HAPPY to let us travel to Disney World without them. They already have to endure our incessant chatter about trip planning which, at this point, starts the minute we get home from Disney World. My poor husband has patiently half listened to me babble on about my FastPass strategy. He is a good sport whenever I squeal with glee when I see something on Instagram or read something on a blog that I can’t wait to try out. He has come to realize that every “OMG!” doesn’t mean that someone has died or the house is about to burn down. It’s just something new at Disney World.

I know we aren’t the only ones that travel like this.

Last year, we splurged on the Magic Kingdom Fireworks Dessert Party.  We wanted a great view of the castle projections without the hassle of the crowds or holding down a spot for hours. When we got to the garden viewing area, the family that sat next to us at the dessert party were positioned up front right next to the gate. We sat behind them and exchanged some small talk. Turns out they were a mom, her sister and her adult son. They live out west,  California and Idaho, and had gone to Disneyland together many times. I believe it was their first trip to Disney World together.

Once the fireworks started, my sister leaned over and said, “They’re us.” I don’t know why I hadn’t put two and two together, but she was right. Two sisters and a kid. Mom, son and aunt. They were clearly enjoying themselves and had that whole jocular ease you get with a shared history of travelling together.  They were us. I just hope that when my son is grown that he will still want to hang out at Disney World with the two old ladies in his life.

Never say never.

While I don’t think that my husband or my sister’s boyfriend will really ever enjoy a trip to Disney World in general, Star Wars may win my husband over eventually. Maybe once Galaxy’s Edge is open my husband and son can go on a trip together to geek out. You never know. For now, everyone is happier if we stick with our Disney partners on our trips to Orlando. There are plenty of others places to visit with our life partners that don’t involve the Mouse.