Visiting Disney World as a Nervous Rider

I have tried many, many times over the years to conquer my fear of thrill rides. When I was a little kid, my poor mother had to stop several carnival rides so that she could rescue me, pale and terrified, from the clutches of some spinny tilty whirly contraption.  Wikipedia defines this as, “an extreme over-reaction to normal self-preservation instincts.” How can one over-react in the name of self-preservation? Certainly that is exactly the time for extreme reaction, right?

Perhaps I should first define what I mean by “thrill” ride. You know that whooshing feeling that you get when a Ferris Wheel carries you up over the top? Yes, Ferris Wheel. I don’t enjoy that.  It is not a sensation that I seek out for pleasure. Thrill, my friends, is a relative term.

When I was in middle school and the horrors of past childhood experiences a distant memory, I tried to ride a rollercoaster.

Encouraged by my peers, I found myself in line for the Runaway Mine Train at Six Flags. I pasted a smile on my face in a desperate attempt  to exude “I’m just a kid loving rides here! Of course I’m not about to pee my pants!” I am sure that my forced smile fooled no one and probably read as “raving lunatic” to everyone in line.  I soldiered on and as the line got shorter and shorter, my palms started sweating, my heartbeat audible.

Time was up, so I slid into the seat and hoped for the best. Sadly, my mother was not there to rescue me this time.  I can still hear the rickety click-clack of the track that I had ABSOLUTELY no business risking my young life on.  I held on for dear life. It was twisty and fast and an unpredictable nightmare.  It was bad enough in broad daylight but then it had the nerve to enter A TUNNEL. Now, I had to clickity-clack on the rickety track IN THE DARK. The kid next to me howled with what I thought was shared terror. COMRADERIE! At least we would plummet to our deaths together!

When we finally climbed out of the stupid thing,  five minutes going on a lifetime later, I turned to my comrade ready to make plans to get some food, hang out on a bench and people watch until it was time to go home. We had just averted death! No need to do anything like that again! Unfortunately, that was not the consensus. Everyone else  looked happy. They ENJOYED themselves. I could not understand how anyone could revel in what I had just experienced. This gene was not swimming in my particular pool.

Six years or so later my senior class headed to Cedar Point for our graduation trip.  

Years of choir trips to this park allowed me to develop a routine. I rode the log ride and the cable cars and watched the shows. I sat on benches holding my friends’  purses and stuffed animal prizes while they rode on the rides. I had a system.

Now,  with the nonchalant attitude of a high school senior,  I found myself looking at a giant pirate ship full of happy people just swinging back and forth.  It was called Ocean Motion. I may not remember the names of every teacher that I had in high school, but I will go to my grave remembering the name of that ride. My friend wanted to go on it so I stood with her and assessed the situation.  “Well, it’s just a boat, right?” I thought. “I can do this. I’m about to move away to college. I’m an adult.” I got on the boat.

Our seats were in the back row. The ship gradually started to swing back and forth. Initially, I was  fine. Each time, though, the ship went a little higher. By the third or fourth back and forth it was not swinging so much as SWOOPING  then PLUMMETING. What had I expected? The kicker was that I got to  experience this action both forwards AND BACKWARDS. Repeatedly.  While my friend laughed her head off, I white-knuckled the security bar, closed my eyes and mourned the fact that I was never going to go to college. “It will be over soon. It will be over soon.” I was going to plummet to my death.  

Fast forward almost 25 years later.

I had given up on this whole ride situation, but now I’m the  mother of a super excited six year old at Legoland. This time, I stand next to The Dragon roller coaster with my husband, my sister and my son. The kid was all over this and my husband was taking him on it. My sister, who is afraid of rollercoasters but is much, much braver than I am, said that she was going to ride it with them. Again, I took a moment to assess the situation. “It’s clearly a kiddie coaster, right? Not too high. Doesn’t sound rickety and there are no ominous dark tunnels. You only have to be 3 feet tall to ride the thing!” I needed to suck it up and set a good example. Did my kid need to inherit my fear? We got in line.

I was nervous, but that was to be expected. My palms were sweaty but that’s totally  normal for me in that situation. While trying not to dwell too much on it, I made overly enthusiastic chit chat with my kid. This chit chat was one-sided and bordered on shrill. “Isn’t this fun? Look at the neat Lego things in the line! Isn’t this so exciting?” I’m sure that the other people in line thought that I was about to have an aneurysm.

I decided to sit with my sister so that my kid didn’t absorb my fear through osmosis. My husband and son sat behind us. As the ride started, I tried to distract myself by looking at the theming around us, hoping that  the medieval castle Lego motif would have a calming effect. Turns out a Lego jester waving a Lego turkey leg does not serve that particular purpose.

The ride car headed  towards the daylight and then we click, click, clicked up the hill.  Oh, that brief little moment of “hovering” and then, we dropped. I held the security bar in a death grip and pretty much closed my eyes for the entire ride. Certain that I going to slide out from underneath the security bar (physically impossible given my birthing hips) and that I wouldn’t see my  kid grow up, my life flashed before my eyes. I was ABSOLUTELY going to plummet to my death. But, wait, there was another level of excitement. My son and husband were sitting behind me. I couldn’t see what was happening to them. So, not only was I ABSOLUTELY going to plummet to my death, so was my kid. How could I have allowed my tender 6 year old  to get on this contraption of doom?

 Above is the visual on this thought process: the on ride picture taken just as I’m realizing we’re goners. I’m sure that you will have no problem figuring out which one I am, but if you do, I’m the one that looks like they need to poop. Sadly, there were key chains made of this.

Of course, my son loved it. My sister said that she hated it and would never ride it again, but LOOK AT HER FACE! The only one on that death dragon that looks like they aren’t enjoying themselves is me.

Four years later, I planned a trip to Universal Studios in Orlando.

My sister, my son and I went primarily for Harry Potter.  I had read that the two Wizarding themed simulator rides were notorious for causing motion sickness. I got car sick as a kid and my son can get queasy so I crossed those off the list. There were so many other things to do, that I didn’t think we would miss it. There were spells to cast! Wizards to meet!

We still got to tour through Hogwarts and then exit out the “chicken door” without going on the Forbidden Journey ride.  I admit that I was a little afraid that there would be some misunderstanding and we would get swept up and on to the ride before we could tell them there had been mistake.  Clearly, the Legoland death dragon was still looming very, very, vividly in my mind.

The trip was a success!  We immersed ourselves in the Wizarding World without all of the near death experiences.  I avoided sweaty palms and any potential death plummeting except for the vicarious jolt that I got from standing on a bridge and watching insane people face near decapitation on Dudley Do-Right’s Rip Shaw Falls.  But, I was left wondering, if maybe we would have gotten even more out of it if I wasn’t so “overly cautious about my self-preservation.”

Enter Disney World. 

I hadn’t been to Disney World since I was eight years old when it was all shiny and new. The only scary thing that I remember from that trip were the evil step sisters at King Stefan’s Banquet Hall (now Cinderella’s Royal Table) telling me that I wouldn’t get dessert if I didn’t eat all of my peas. Disney had a reputation for more “family friendly” attractions, but I was still visiting Disney World as a nervous rider.  I needed to know what to expect so  I watched a lot of YouTube ride videos. I was satisfied, having researched everything to death, that there would be oodles of shows, boats and dark rides that gracefully meandered through scenery. This I could do.

My son was a little bit older and more adventurous now,  so my sister stepped up and offered to ride the more thrilling rides with him. I made FastPasses for all 3 of us together on every ride in case I changed my mind and threw caution to the wind.  

The kid wanted to ride Star Tours

Star Wars was a big draw for my  kid on this trip. He desperately wanted to ride Star Tours in Hollywood Studios. My sister was the  sacrificial lamb riding with him. I hadn’t committed yet so we stood in front of Star Tours so that I could run through my inner monologue pep talk.  Star Tours is housed inside a show building so it can’t really be assessed from the outside. At this point, I had watched enough YouTube videos on the mechanics of Star Tours that I could have constructed one in my basement. I just needed to make my decision.

I knew that it was basically a metal box. The box would move up and down and side to side and this movement would be enhanced by 3D effects on the screen. “It’s just trickery.” I thought.  “Nothing real. It’s just a simulator. I’ll slap on those motion sickness wristband thingies and I’ll be okay.” We got in line.

I was  nervous but the Star Wars themed queue was distracting and my kid’s excitement was palpable. Our seats were in the front row. At first it was okay. C3PO was talking. The kid was excited. Suddenly, it started to do this hyperspace backwards then forwards really fast thing. I was not happy with this. My eyes closed involuntarily and I tried brace myself for impact (death, of course, was imminent)  but my sandals couldn’t find traction on the metal floor. My feet were sliding toward the screen as I was basically attempting to apply the non existent break on the floor, like a Driver’s Ed instructor, for the ENTIRE ride.

I was able to open my eyes a slit during some weird underwater Jar Jar Binks scene and then came that hyperspace maneuver again. Eyes closed. As we exited into the gift shop, I was slightly traumatized but my sister and son were excitedly chatting away about it. I’m glad that they liked it. I did not share their enthusiasm.  In the future, they will ride this multiple times in a row while I shop for Star Wars merchandise. Everyone will be happy.

I had my heart set on Soarin’

Prior to our trip, a friend of mine had gone to Disney and  told me about the Soarin’ Around the World ride in Epcot. It had just been refurbished and she said that it was awesome and moving and that the audience clapped at the end. Clapped, you say? I consulted YouTube.  You basically sit next to a giant movie screen that displays aerial views of some of the wonders of the world. This sounded like going to see an Omnimax movie with a little added intensity. It didn’t look too scary, just a little high off the ground. Peaceful and smooth was how it was described. Now we’re talking.

Still recovering from the Star Tours experience when we got into the Soarin’ queue,  I managed to hold it together until we got to the entry doors. My sister told me that I didn’t have to ride it.  Was I not hiding my apprehension well?  Perhaps it was my repeated “I’m not sure about this.” that clued her in?

My sister pointed out that she was going on with the kid, so I could really REALLY leave the line at any time. I told her it was fine. I knew that I would regret it if I didn’t try it. People clapped at the end of this ride! Clapped! I WAS RIDING THIS RIDE.

Our seats were on the bottom row to the right of the screen. As we stashed our bags under our seats (Wait. Why do we need to secure our belongings? I thought this was a serene experience?!),  this lovely, lovely, woman leaned towards me and said that she was sure that I would enjoy it. “Soarin’ is a wonderful ride.” I nervously blurted that I hated Star Tours. She wholeheartedly agreed. I felt more comfortable now. This woman was the ride whisperer. I wanted to take her on every ride with me for the rest of the trip.

I buckled in. Patrick Warburton’s authoritative voice told me to “prepare for take off” which I took VERY seriously. I hung on to the side bars for dear life and reminded myself that if it got to be too crazy I could close my eyes or immediately look down to the corner of the screen like all the nice YouTubers said to do in case of emergency. Our row rose up and towards the screen, we burst through the clouds and then…. I GIGGLED.

Listen.  I know that this is not a thrill ride for regular people, but I  think that we have established that I am not regular. IT WAS AWESOME.  The sights and smells and the gentleness of the ride were right up my alley. It was exhilarating without being terrifying. I still held on for dear life but I  didn’t spend half the ride with my eyes closed and didn’t once think about plummeting to my death. Soarin’ became my gateway ride.

On our next trip to Disney World, I was a little braver.

I was determined to ride Soarin’ as many times as humanly possible. The first time up, I took a sneak peek at the people in the rows next to us. They all had their hands demurely in their laps. Most were even serenely swinging their legs. I marveled at their bravery.  The ride was as amazing as I had remembered but I still had the side handles in a death grip. Baby steps.

I had to muster up whatever inner strength I had for the next day of our trip and Flight of Passage at Animal Kingdom. When Flight of Passage opened, the press on that was bonkers. People were talking about it like it was a transformative experience. Everyone in their vlogs looked shiny and happy and a little bit giddy. The word awesome was used a lot.  Some people were speechless.

I studied that ride for weeks.  When I researched Flight of Passage most folks described it as a blend of Star Tours and Soarin’ which was zero help to me. I hated one and LOVED the other and I couldn’t decode that. I was terrified but  didn’t want to miss out. What pushed me over the edge was Tim Tracker’s YouTube video. This video is PERFECT for showing you exactly what the ride seats are like and how each compartment of seats  moves around. Flight of Passage could be my rite of passage! My sister and son were committed. I booked the FastPasses.

Armed with knowledge, I  didn’t stand outside and debate on this one. Full steam ahead. If I hadn’t gotten on Soarin’ I would never have known how much fun it was. I wasn’t going to let Flight of Passage become a regret. If I survived Star Tours, I could survive this. We were seated next to two women who were both just as scared as we were. There was a certain comfort in that. We were all in this together!

Secured on the ride’s bike apparatus, I clung for dear life. Bright lights popped in front of my face and then we were suddenly plummeting through the flora and fauna of another planet. This plummet DID NOT feel like a death plummet. The ride was AMAZING. I was terrified, my palms were virtually liquified, I had to close my eyes a bunch but it was EXHILARATING.

We frantically chatted about it as we exited into the gift shop. Hair tousled by the ride’s winds and misty water spray, my sister fist thumped her sternum to illustrate how she felt after riding it  This has become our go to gesture when we conquer our fears and ride something that terrifies us. We act like gorillas in the middle of gifts shops.

Pumped up on that accomplishment, I went on to ride Test Track at Epcot. After other trips where I stood in front and winced every time the cars came screaming around the outside track (Didn’t those people know that they could plummet to their deaths?), I decided to do it and it was FUN. Go figure. I was learning how to embrace that feeling of recklessness! By the time our last couple of days rolled around, I was riding Soarin’ with my hands in my lap. I was  throwing my arms in the air while entering the clouds or gliding over the Great Wall of China. So brave, I know.

What kind of rider am I now?

I have spent a good deal of time now trying to figure out what my riding “profile” is. I think I have realized that I need to feel secure on the ride. I need to be strapped in really well like Flight of Passage or encased like Test Track and Soarin’. Outdoor roller coasters or anything that corkscrews or goes upside down (although that does kind of happen in Flight of Passage, but I closed my eyes!) is probably never going to appeal to me. I’m not a fan of jerky or spinny rides.

My sister and my son discovered a love for Seven Dwarfs Mine Train and Big Thunder Mountain Railroad in Magic Kingdom on our last trip. I am pretty sure that those rides are not my cup of tea, and THAT’S OKAY.  I don’t have to like everything. My sister is afraid EVERY TIME the boat drops in Pirates of the Caribbean and she HATES the backwards part of Spaceship Earth. My son is TERRIFIED of  “It’s Tough to be a Bug” in Animal Kingdom. Everyone has their demons.  

Now I get it. I get that exhilaration and sense of accomplishment and just plain child like thrill of it.  Getting caught up in the whole magic of Disney World got me to loosen up a bit and step out of my comfort zone.  I know that the next time that I am next to someone that looks a little freaked out on a ride, I’m going to try to do my best “ride whisperer” imitation. Send a little of that Disney magic someone else’s way. 

Visiting Disney World as a nervous rider is truly not a deal breaker.  There are plenty of things to do that don’t involve possibly “plummeting to your death”. If the magic of Disney moves you, go ahead and try something new.

I’m definitely going to ride Flight of Passage on our next trip. This time maybe I’ll keep my eyes open the whole time. (5/1/2019 Update….and I DID!!!)

For tips on what each of the parks has to offer beyond the rides, check these out:

Beyond the Rides: Magic Kingdom, Epcot, Hollywood Studios and Animal Kingdom.