Creepy Things Around Disney World

Somehow the season of pumpkins and creepy shenanigans is upon us. 

This year minutes, hours, days, weeks and even seasons have all blurred together. While I am looking forward to cooler weather, fall foliage and pumpkin spiced you-name-it, this alternate reality we are living in has me a little leery of waning daylight hours. In this surreal world of mask covered faces and social distancing, I am finding it easier to summon the darker side of that Disney magic.

So, I offer you a tongue in cheek look at some of the things around Disney World that CREEP ME OUT.

While villains sometimes roam the parks,  there are other less obvious creepy things around Disney World. Maybe some things you never would have considered creepy until you see them in a certain light? Cute and cuddly can become sinister pretty quickly. Gabby Gabby. Toys and Disney characters rendered in Godzilla like sizes. People’s bare toes dangling in front of your face on Soarin’.

Let’s just say that there are quite a few creepy things hiding in plain sight around Disney World.

Please note, this is for entertainment purposes only. I love my Disney World as is and wouldn’t want it any other way. 

What’s creepy at Hollywood Studios

Ah, Hollywood Studios. The home of the “other” haunted mansion: Tower of Terror. The only way that I would even consider getting on that attraction is if it was a requirement for procuring a life saving organ for my son. The chorus of shrieking that you hear from that thing as you approach it? Freaks me out EVERY TIME. The traumatized faces of young children as they stagger off their first ride wishing that they never hit the height requirement? Absolute deterrent. Yet, with all of its creepiness, the haunted hotel on the hill isn’t the only sinister thing lurking around Hollywood Studios. (Cue lightning bolt.)

Disney World’s creepiest show building decor  

I have nothing against Kermie. He’s a pretty good guy. A little neurotic but his heart is in the right place. But this open-mouthed menace at Muppet Vision 3D? 

This is not a monument to Mr. famously green. This is world domination by amphibian. What’s the Muppet agenda here? A frog just doesn’t need to be that big, even if he is wearing formal wear. Not okay. 

A creepy retro dinosaur

Gertie. A placid leaf eating dinosaur that doubles as an ice cream stand? Sure. Three words. Loch Ness Monster. Sure, she looks like she is just chomping on some greenery from the lake but I’m not buying it. Yes, I know that there were ginormous dinosaurs roaming the earth that somehow sustained themselves on plant life alone. However, Gertie has a certain glint in her eye that says “Tourists are tasty.”

Perhaps this is where all the poor souls that don’t finish their vegetables at 50’s Prime Time Cafe go? If you don’t fall for Cousin Connie’s airplane fork…

then Gertie’s gonna get ya. Eat those peas and carrots, kids!

Toy Story Land is full of creepiness

The Toy Story movie franchise certainly has its dark side. The aforementioned Gabby Gabby and her henchmen the Bensons. Sid. Don’t get me started on the aliens who are, for the record, stalkers.

So, it’s no surprise that the larger than life toys in Toy Story Land can be a little intimidating. The over-sized Woody is cute though, right?

How neat to see toys supersized? Then you realize that the Tinker Toy ant situation is 3 times your size. An ANT that is times your size.

No, thank you. Also, riding a slinky? Did you have one as a kid? Did it ever “walk” down the steps in an orderly fashion like it did on the commercials? No, it did not. It ended up in a tangled mess at the base of the stairs. Now you want to ride one that hurtles through the air?

You are braver folk than I. 

What’s creepy at Magic Kingdom

Magic Kingdom is the LITERAL abode of 999 happy haunts that want to add you to their list, but the Haunted Mansion is the least of my worries here.

While a ghost may follow me home, there are many other unsettling attractions that chill me to the bone.

Creeping out guests since Disney World’s opening day

Okay, low hanging fruit. In my defense, I actually enjoy It’s a Small World. I don’t mind the song as it bounces around in my head for several hours after disembarking the boat. I think it’s cute and generally don’t find it overly creepy when I’m riding it. Truly. BUT….it is FULL of tiny animatronic people.

Animatronics are full on creepy if you spend too much time thinking about them. Sure, gliding past them in a boat safely distanced from their happy little faces is fine.  But what if the ride has some kind of malfunction and you are, let’s say, detained for a bit in front of the singing little cherubs? Singing little cherubs that move in a slightly jerky and audibly clicking way. I have never had to face this reality, but others have. I fear for their souls.

Let’s face it. If they dimmed the lights and slowed the song down to ½ speed that would be VERY different ride. 

A creepy nightmare hellscape with a whiff of artificial honey

I still have a hard time believing that small children enjoy this extremely trippy ride. Granted, the pumped in fake honey smell and jerky motions of this attraction tend to poke at my threshold for motion sickness, but most of the ride is a nightmare. An ACTUAL nightmare. Gentle Pooh Bear is having a night terror, people! Who decided that would be a great ride theme for young children? 

What’s creepy at Animal Kingdom

If you asked my son what the creepiest thing at Animal Kingdom is, he would immediately answer:

He sat through it once when he was 10 and refuses to ever go back again now that he is well into his teens. Granted it is a show about bugs. Giant furry spiders fall from the ceiling. Who knows what scurries under your seat. I get it. But for me? It’s the landscape of a certain planet that has me wary. 

Super creepy alien flora

Don’t get me wrong. Pandora is gorgeous and what you experience during the daytime is just as beautiful, if not more beautiful, at night. You know what though? Venus flytraps are beautiful too. They can “Sivako!” me all they want but I’m not fooled. Off planet shrubbery that constantly emits otherworldly chirping noises? An enormous steam spewing plant that sprays a mist when you TOUCH ITS INSIDES.

Oh, but that’s not the kicker for me. This is.

I want to know when and if those egg thingies are going to hatch, what they are going to hatch and how I can avoid being anywhere near them when they do. 

What’s creepy at Epcot

As large a park as it is, Epcot is relatively creep free. The Mexico Pavilion’s Day of the Dead exhibit skirts the edges of the macabre, but that’s about it for the World Showcase side of the park.

Future World has chosen to rally behind a super creepy mascot (sorry Figment lovers) but it’s the park’s centerpiece, a geodesic dome chock full of questionable Animatronics, that has the most creep potential.

Home of the creepiest animatronic tween

This is one of my FAVORITE attractions. For the most part, I thoroughly enjoy my trip through time. In the dark. With various aging Animatronics. Honestly. But, as the ride vehicle makes the turn past the lovely family watching the lunar landing  on television, I keep my eye on little sister in her PJs.

While the entire family creeps me out a little bit, it’s her that I worry about. I get Poltergeist vibes that I cannot deny and one day fully expect her to turn her head around very slowly as we go by.

Yes, I have a love hate relationship with Animatronics. Suffice it to say, if I am ever on an attraction when one goes haywire like Ursula’s head falling off, or a singing Faceless Elsa, it may be the last time I ride it. 

What’s creepy at Pop Century Resort

I love staying at Pop Century. I love the whole retro vibe. The larger than life toys of my youth strewn about the property are amazing.  BUT, anything that cute blown up to that size can get fairly sinister if you think about it too much. 

Creepiest psychotic glove wearing rabbit at Disney World

Well, the only psychotic glove wearing rabbit at Disney World. Yeah, no thanks. He’s like a weird buck toothed jack in the box. If I stare at him too hard, I swear he sways a little bit back and forth like he has just been jettisoned out of a box and intent on evil. LOOK AT HIS FACE.

Pass.

Creepiest couple at Disney World

Nothing with removable and exchangeable body parts should ever be rendered this large. I’m not a fan. Mrs. Potato Head is particularly disturbing. Her smile doesn’t make it all the way to her eyes and that handbag looks dangerous. What’s in there? Spare body parts? Ugh.

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While I’ve never been to the parks during the Halloween season that starts in summer and ends at Christmas, it is definitely on my bucket list. Until then I will have to settle for all of the other creepy things around Disney World that give me pause.

None of this, of course, diminishes the magic of Disney World and my love for the parks. Where’s the fun without a little danger? Magic has many sides. In fact, I’d like it if Disney embraced its dark side a little more. Haunted Mansion restaurant? I’d make that ADR. Villain nights year round? Sign. Me. Up. I get excited every time someone theorizes about a Villain land or castle no matter how outrageous or unlikely it is happen. 

Just remember as the days grow shorter and the night air gets crisper, there is always a cup of mulled cider and a Hocus Pocus or Haunted Mansion movie rewatch to carry you through.

After all, every Jack ‘O Lantern, no matter how scary its carving, has a little light inside.